


A Change To Know The Real Self

by sorunrun



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: M/M, Post-Game(s), Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9048403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorunrun/pseuds/sorunrun
Summary: Mikleo grows up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year 2017! Hope this year will be better for all us, and I hope you enjoy reading my first work in ao3!
> 
> Please ignore any errors and inaccuracies, thank you!

In the following months after Sorey’s...slumber (not _death_ , Mikleo chastises himself) started, their party reconvenes in Elysia. In the first few years, Mikleo has decided to part ways from Rose, the talented but still grieving shepherd, and from the other seraphs. He plans to stay back in Camlann and Elysia interchangeably, wanting to learn from both older seraphims in the village and whatever books Zenrus has kept about the art of creating and improving seals. Despite the initial seal Lailah has conjured up, Mikleo worries of naive humans wondering at the sight of a beam of light and unintentionally entering the ruins where Sorey is resting or so he argues, intending to add even more seals and constantly revamping old ones. A half truth and lie, really, just to stay close to the resting shepherd for as long as he can.

 

At first, everyone disagrees of his plans. Rose vocally stresses her disapproval, wanting the water seraph to join her as she travels all across Glenwood again to purify any remaining malevolence. Lailah agrees with Rose, nodding occasionally with a tight expression. She doesn’t want to leave Mikleo alone, not after he lost his mother, Sorey, and Zenrus in such a short span of time. He is much too young; too emotionally vulnerable to the raw feeling of grief and loss, which may plunge him into malevolence if he doesn’t know how to fully process his emotions. However, Lailah doesn’t voice out her opinion, knowing Mikleo would always deny, deny, and deny her accusations no matter how accurate she is. Edna, still grim from her own set of burdens (killing…. No, _releasing_ Eizen from his misery has also taken a large toll on her), is sharper with her words, sneering at how stupid Meebo is— Lailah’s seal is more than enough to keep pesky humans at bay, and how Sorey wouldn’t want him to mope around the place, preferring him to help purify the land once more. However, while Zaveid initially disagrees, he stays quiet during the whole debate, silently thinking about something Mikleo doesn’t understand, mouth pressed into a straight line and a distant look on his face.

 

When Mikleo is, _by Maotelus don’t tell anyone_ , close to tears of frustration, mouth taut and pale eyebrows furrowed, Zaveid casually intervenes. I’ll stay back with Mikboy, he says with a grin. Rose casts her glare at the wind seraph, anger slowly bubbling up before she wills herself to calm down. Lailah seems contemplative now, her stare still serious but less daunting than before. Edna merely shrugs, seeming dismissive but bestowing an agreement of her own way. Zaveid continues, saying how it is a good time for him and Mikleo to finally have a heart-to-heart, man-to-man session to build a stronger connection between them. Mikleo blanches, but he catches the look Zaveid is giving him, and he understands he has to compromise for this. He sighs, but agrees to the older seraphim’s suggestion. Eventually, the group comes to an agreement that while Rose, Lailah, and Edna would travel around and purify the remaining hellions, Mikleo and Zaveid would create more seals for Camlann, and that in a few years time, they would return to Elysia and pick up the other two seraphs to continue their mission.

 

Time flies by as he works with Zaveid on creating new seals. Mikleo works daily on tweaking his seals, adding more and more of his own enchantments that are not written on books nor taught by the elder seraphims. Zaveid is, to say the least, impressed by the young seraphim’s progress. But, he is also _afraid_. Baby seraphims aren’t supposed to be this knowledgeable. Yet, Mikleo is very much prodigal, his knowledge and skills easily surpassing century old seraphims when the boy isn’t even 19. Great powers come with great consequences, and perhaps, he has traded his innocence for his expertise. The boy has, after all, seen and experienced many things that other seraphs will probably never experience over the course of their lifetime.

 

Other than working on the seals, Mikleo does little. He eats, he bathes, he trains, he rests, but he also sits down in Sorey’s house, staring blankly at the empty space for hours end, and rereading the Celestial Record that is entrusted to him, again and again. Mikleo also cries behind closed doors, the wind seraph notices, tears spilling over the water seraphim’s friend, companion, soulmate, his one and only, and the thought of what could’ve been. It’s the process of grieving, he hopes.

 

When Zaveid realizes that no, this is not the road to recovery but instead the gateway to a one way road leading to malevolence, he forcibly barges into one of Mikleo’s crying sessions. This is what Lailah fears, he tells himself as he examines how close Mikleo is to _breaking_. They have a long conversation that day, the boy babbling about everything and nothing while the older seraph simply listens, grateful that at least Mikleo knows that he shouldn’t bottle up all his sadness inside himself, and that he should learn to depend in his friends on some occasions.

 

By the end of the two years, there are 10 new seals, all of them beyond what Zaveid could’ve ever created, and Mikleo, stronger than he ever was in all senses. Strength, knowledge, skill, wisdom, and bonds. Zaveid thinks that all the conversations he has had with Mikleo is worth it as he watches him fluster over Lailah’s compliments, Edna’s teasing, Rose’s loud smack in the back, and Alisha’s soft laughter.

 

* * *

 

Other changes are not invisible. In the span of two years, Rose has pointedly decided not to cut her hair. Now falling to her waist, her red hair sways back and forth in the harsh winds of Elysia, stray locks smacking her face more times than necessary. Mikleo offers to cut her hair, mentioning how he usually cuts Sorey’s hair back then, so she shouldn’t worry of his hair cutting skills. Humans are fundamentally different from seraphims, his grandpa has told him years ago, so minor changes in Rose is something he expects from their absence. But as Edna jabs her umbrella to his sides and teases him with a badly concealed suggestive innuendo about what other _skills_ he has, he notices something different from the earth seraph.

 

He vaguely remembers a conversation he had overhead, of Lailah speaking about how seraphim can change their appearances by their own will or perceptions of themselves. Throughout their first journey, Edna was barely as tall as his shoulders, her form petite and betraying her age. But now she is almost to his ears. It’s so much of a shock that he unconsciously blurts out his observations, earning him a glare from the female, and a round of laughter from the others. Mikleo earns another hard jab to his sides, this time the hit almost painful, but he grins either way, always happy when he manages to ruffle Edna’s feathers.

 

That night, when everyone is asleep inside his house, he quietly steps out into the cool night. He spots Edna sitting in the grasses not too far away, staring at the plethora of stars scattered in the cloudless sky. He makes his way to her side, careful not to startle her, before he gingerly sits down. He bends his knees and places his hand on his lap. Edna doesn’t answer when Mikleo asks why her appearance has changed in such a short span of seraphim time, but he understands her somehow. Maybe they really haven’t moved on as much as they seemed to be; as much as the act they put up.

 

* * *

 

Centuries later, far after Rose’s and Alisha’s passing, Mikleo finds himself in an easy companionship with Zaveid and his nomadic ways. Lailah, not much to anyone’s surprise, has always stayed in Ladylake. She mentors generations and generations of shepherds and squires, only leaving when she becomes another prime lord. While Mikleo doesn’t exactly avoid her, he meets her only a few times every hundred years. Those meetings, however, he cherishes dearly. Despite her incessant request of him becoming a new shepherd’s prime lord or sub-lord, he takes her advices close to his heart. Edna, he meets more often. Like him, she had also found a friend in Zaveid. A friend who she can talk about Eizen to and recall good memories. The three of them often leave on mindless journeys together, though Edna is usually always the first to part ways, wanting to go back to Rayfalke or help Lailah as a sub-lord.

 

When he has no ruins to explore or a book to write, Mikleo often joins Zaveid in going around the continent without any actual destination. It takes his mind out of things (of things he doesn’t want to recall like his nightmares and insecurities, and of things he realizes he has forgotten like how green Sorey’s eyes was or how bright was his smile, despite persistently begging to himself to _never forget_ ). Most likely due to Zaveid’s influence, Mikleo  belatedly realizes how much he has grown physically. It is no secret that Mikleo likes to give extra attention to his appearance. Even back then, he would wake up early to tame his wild bed hair, to take baths or showers, and make sure his clothes are wrinkle and dirt free. Therefore, he of course notices how his blue-tinged hair is growing longer, slowly creeping down the nape of his neck, to his back and even further longer as more and more time passes without any signs of Sorey waking up.

 

He progressively ties his hair further up his head, first a low pony tail and now in the middle of his head. It’s a bit of a hassle to cut his hair so he leaves it be. He also notes how his pants and sleeves no longer cover his slim ankles and delicate wrists, and how the shoulder seams never seem to sit comfortably anymore. This compels the amethyst eyed seraph to alter his ill-fitted clothing. However, he doesn’t realize how _much_ taller he has grown.  

 

After three-quarters of a century since his last interaction with Lailah or Zaveid or Edna, they have a gathering in an inn at Ladylake. The jovial innkeeper, along with half of the population of Glenwood, is now blessed with the enough resonance to see and interact with seraphims. She graciously serves both seraphims and humans dinner with free flowing beer, warmly welcoming anyone who visits her quaint family inn. When Mikleo arrives just a little shy of dusk, bowing appreciatively at the innkeeper’s loud shout of greeting, only Lailah is already in her seat. At the sight of him, the fire seraph brings her dainty hand to cover her mouth. “Oh my!” She exclaims, eyes glittering as she stands up to run and bring him into a tight hug. “You’re so much taller!”

 

And what Lailah said is true. He is taller than Lailah now, still far shorter than Zaveid but a comparable difference than he was at 17, probably. He could say he was too preoccupied in taking notes on ruins or editing his book draft to notice his own growth, but the truth is, Mikleo just doesn’t have Sorey to track how much he has grown anymore. To add it all up, No one has really talked about Mikleo’s change in appearance before, aside from Lailah commenting on how nice his longer hair is, and braiding said hair whenever they meet up. No one talks about his broader shoulders, sharper jawline or longer legs, and for it to be brought up now brings a whole new dread to his existence. What if Sorey doesn’t recognize him anymore? What if he doesn’t want to be…. whatever they were before because he is now _different_?

 

Sure he still has the same set of amethyst eyes, and the same emerald circlet, but he has irrevocably changed. His personality has changed, certain traits and habits has changed, and his appearance has changed as well. He doesn’t even remember how he looked like when he was 17 anymore. Hiding his shaky hands and stamping his rising panic, he tries to smile as sincerely as possible, not exactly returning the hug.

 

“Good to see you too Lailah.”

 

After his small breakdown in the inn and the dinner reunion, Edna calls him out. While Zaveid and Lailah had barely changed over the past centuries since he and Sorey first met them, Edna has undoubtedly changed as much or even more than Mikleo. The earth seraph no longer puts her lengthy blonde hair up into a side ponytail, now preferring to let it loose and accessorized with a hairpin that Eizen had given to her at some point but never used. She has also grown taller, her dress now longer with sleeves.

 

She threateningly points the sharp edge of her umbrella at Mikleo’s direction, demanding him to tell her what is wrong. Years of friendship with the blonde girl informs him that Edna is only worried, despite how she disinterested looks and how cold she sounds like. Smiling bitterly at his own poorly hidden lies, he pours out all of his insecurities to her as they walk around Ladylake under the cover of darkness. Later on, she whacks his head with her umbrella, calling him an idiot, before saying how insulting it is to Sorey that he would think Sorey would judge him by his appearance alone. Mikleo simply has no words to say, and so he laughs because Edna is right, Sorey is not that kind of person.

 

* * *

 

Coming into terms with his changes is tough. Mikleo tries his best to put a halt to any growth, at least enough that Sorey should be able to recognize him when he wakes up. Yet at the same time, he puts in effort to acknowledge his changes under Edna’s advice. It is one step towards acceptance, she says, gaze distant. While Mikleo agrees with her words, he keeps his mouth shut from reminding her that Sorey is not _dead_ , just sleeping for who knows how long. The whole group part ways again the next morning after his conversation with Edna, Lailah waving goodbye as Zaveid and Edna head towards Rayflake Spiritcrest, and Mikleo enroute to a newly discovered ruin in Rolance.

 

Admittedly, Mikleo is highly distracted by his thoughts during his journey across the lax borders of Hyland and Rolance. Sergei and Alisha’s hard work of establishing and maintaining peace between the two nations had proven fruitful since the end of the Age of Chaos, the two countries now in long term peace from a treaty created many lifetimes ago for humans. He sets aside some time to visit Lastonbell and Pendrago, restocking any inventory that he might need, and paying respects to Sergei’s grave. In between, Mikleo also finds himself occasionally stopping to help out locals who has troubles with the persistent heat wave. It has been nearly two moons of travel when he finds the ruins, a group of archaeologists already on site. They greet him with respect, obviously proud and excited to show the majestic ruin to him.

 

The thought of anything about his changing appearance, his friends and their advices is forgotten at the sight of beautifully preserved engravings that decorates the entrance of the ruins. This could date back up to the Temperance of Avarost, Mikleo gasps, his gaze drifting to the mostly intact carvings of the white walls and pillars, similar to what he has ever seen in Lefay. Pulling out his journal, he records as much information his notebook allows him to, a giddy feeling shaking him to his cores as he explores the uncharted territory. He has new material to write on upcoming his book now.

 

In the next five years, Mikleo has written, proofread, and sent his manuscript to a publishing house in Ladylake. He finds himself paying respect to Rose’s and Alisha’s grave this time around, placing a bouquet of their favourite flowers in each respective grave before he makes his way into the busy city. He has business meetings to attend later that evening, but he first goes into an inn, paying for a single room, and _no thank you, I don’t need lunch as of now_. He is placing his bag down on the bed when he hears the loud click-clack of high heels thundering against wooden flooring outside his room. Turning around, the door of his room opens in time to reveal Lailah, the fire seraph ecstatic to see her old friend. She quickly pulls him into a hug (like she always does), before moving her hands to his cheeks, neck, and shoulders, as if fretting for any wounds. When satisfied, she clasps both her and Mikleo’s hands together. “Welcome back Mikleo!” she chirps. The water seraph smiles fondly, nodding at her passionate greeting.

 

“I’m here for the launching of my new book.” He replies instead, pulling his hands away from Lailah’s loose grip. He offers her a seat by the window, quickly waving his hand above two teacups to fill them with hot water. He places complimentary tea bags in each cup before setting said cups in the coffee table in front of Lailah’s seat. He sits across the fire seraph at the neighbouring seat.

 

“Is it about the ruins you told us about last time?” She enquires, sipping her brewed tea. “The history students and scholars in Marlind and Pendrago must be rejoicing now.”

 

Somewhere along the idle catching up, Lailah rises to stand behind Mikleo, one of her hands holding the thick mass of his unkempt hair and the other holding a hairbrush. She delicately brushes his untied hair, attentively untangling any knots. Their conversations slows into a lull, the silence comfortable. Mikleo sighs contently as Lailah’s hand affectionately curl at his nape. He is slowly drowsing off into dreamland when Lailah places the hairbrush on top of the table, and says, “I’m sorry for last time.”

 

Mikleo stiffens and turns around to glance at the older seraphim. Lailah merely smiles before burying her hands at his hair again. The water seraph gives her a strange look before looking in front again, tilting his head backwards so that his companion can easily split his hair into three sections. “What for?” He questions, patient when Lailah doesn’t directly answer him.

 

“I forgot you don’t like...changes that much. Yet I carelessly mentioned about it last time.”

 

“Ah yes, Edna has berated me about that. Threatened me with her dangerous umbrella and all.” He snorts as Lailah chuckles. She carefully places one section over another and repeats the process.

 

“Everyone was worried.” To this, Mikleo raises an eyebrow. “We all handle change and growth differently. Some seraphs welcome it, some abhor it. You know how Edna barely changed her appearance before Sorey saved Eizen don’t you?”

 

“Yes.” He answers truthfully. Then silence. “I’m trying my best Lailah.”

 

“I know you are. You don’t need to do it quickly. Just do it in your own pace.” Mikleo nods at her words. “Also, I think you suit the long hair look. I’m sure Sorey would think the same.”

 

“..... I think so too.”

 

Finishing his braid, Lailah secures it with a hair tie. “There you go. All neat.”

 

“Thanks mom.” Mikleo snickers. The slender fire seraph pouts, hitting his shoulder with no force behind it to reprimand him.

 

“At least call me your sister!”

 

* * *

 

He hasn’t fallen over a trap for centuries now, the embarrassment of his carelessness even more shocking than the ground collapsing into what seems to be a bottomless pit. However, the hand that grips his own startles him out of his revery. Looking up to his saviour, the bright backlight obscures the stranger’s face, but the glove around the man’s hand is familiar — this stranger’s whole being is _familiar_.

 

Letting out a shaky breath, his mouth breaks into a familiar smile, one he reserves to one person.

 

“Sorey.”

 

* * *

 

Even behind the door and the stone walls, the noise of the party still filters inside the house. Granted, it is a party to celebrate Sorey’s return, but with all the attention directed into the newly reborn seraphim, the poor boy quickly becomes even more disorientated, his memories still scattered and disjointed at best. Pitying him, Mikleo tries to discreetly pull him away from the centre of the party, leading him towards his home. This earns them a suggestive whistle from Zaveid, a fake scandalized look from Lailah, and a blanching Edna. Mikleo returns their gestures with a glare.

 

Inside his house (technically Sorey’s as his actual house had been converted into a mini library of sorts many centuries ago), Mikleo offers Sorey to sit on the bed, not wanting him to sit on the book covered floor. He tries to light up the fireplace so that the room is less chilly from the cool Elysian air. Finally succeeding, he moves away from the fireplace to sit next to the overwhelmed seraph, brushing Sorey’s overgrown blond bangs away from his eyes. Out of all of the seraphim, Sorey remembers him best, and that too had only been fragments of random moments. At least their journey back to Elysia has granted him more time to remember more memories.

 

“Are you alright?” Mikleo worries, watching the blond snap into attention at his words.

 

“Yeah.. I’m fine. Just a bit overwhelmed I guess.” He gives an awkward smile, rubbing the back of his neck at the same time. Old habits die hard, Mikleo fondly thinks to himself.

 

“I’m sorry they were very insistent. Everyone in Elysia misses you very much.” Patting Sorey’s hair, Mikleo stands back up to retrieve his casual clothing, throwing Sorey’s own set of pajamas towards the other seraph. He catches the clothes smoothly, body moving in pure muscle memory.

 

“What was that for?” Sorey muses, slowly stripping off layers and layers of clothing. Mikleo freezes, his own jacket shrugged off and black button up halfway undone.

 

“....Sorry. It’s a habit.” He replies, mouth pressing into a thin line and gaze down on the floor. The both of them continues to peel off layers before finally settling into their sleeping clothes. Dropping himself back this bed, Mikleo helps Sorey to brush his blond hair, untangling it from the knots. His hair is reminiscent of his past armatization form, the strands more gold than his own silver, but the edges, coloured a deeper yellow in contrast to Mikleo’s blues. A lightning seraph, just like their gramps.

 

“I want to ask you a question, Sorey.” Mikleo’s voice is soft, barely heard over the crackles of the fire.

 

“Go ahead.” He hums, enjoying the other’s fingers running through his hair alongside the hairbrush.

 

“How did you know it was me?” The water seraph stops his ministrations, causing the green eyed seraph to lean his body towards the other, head resting on Mikleo’s chest before turning upwards to meet his curious gaze.

 

“I don’t know.” Sorey shrugs, laughing when Mikleo pouts at his useless answer. “Before my mind can catch up, your name was at the tip of my tongue, really. I don’t know from where but it just slipped out. Then when I pulled you up, I suddenly thought, ‘ah I know who you are. Mikleo. Luzrov Rulay. Someone important to me’. After that, I can remember some snippets of memories with you I guess. Hunting prickleboars with you, reading the Celestial Record with you, sneaking out to go to ruins at night with you, arguing about history with you, us purifying hellions side by side, looking at the stars with you at a city, and a promise. A promise about our dream of coexistence.”

 

Sorey watches as Mikleo blush a dark shade of red at his memories, a familiar warmth settling inside his chest. “That was….very eloquent of you.” The purple eyed seraph lamely finishes.

 

“To be honest, you seem different from what I remember.” Mikleo’s breath hitches at his statement, eyes wide in slight distress, but Sorey pressess on anyway, “But a part of me says that no, you are still the same despite the obvious changes in physical appearance. You are still the same kind Mikleo, who still helps and takes care of people despite your disapproval; the same seraph who values hard work and dedication, but maybe, just less of a sweet, simple soul from back then. Edna said that right?”

 

Mikleo changes from feeling moved to giving a mean glare down at Sorey, flicking his nose in mock disdain. “Why do you remember the smallest of things and not other, more major events.” The water seraph huffs, crossing his arms petulantly to hide his growing smile. Giggling, the lightning seraph uncrosses the other’s arms, holding him gently by the wrists.

 

“But you still love me anyway.” Sorey grins at his claim, his smile growing wider when Mikleo turns to a tomato red shade, and the pulse he feels under his fingers soaring.

 

“Of course I do.” He mutters, much to his embarrassment. Heart fluttering, Mikleo squirms from Sorey’s hold unsuccessfully, the other seraph smiling in glee. This is pretty much a declaration of love, he belatedly realizes. One which he willingly makes and Sorey doesn’t explicitly reject or accept. A new hope blooms from his thoughts.

 

Maybe, even if the Mikleo that Sorey remembers is now different, and that there is just too much of a gap between the past and current Mikleo, he can still hope that Sorey would fall in love with him again. After all, they have all the time in the world, don’t they?

 

**Author's Note:**

> tfw you just wanted to write about Mikleo growing taller as Sorey becomes Maotelus’ vessel and sleeps, but you get sidetracked a lot.
> 
>    
> Hit me up at:  
> sorunrun @ tumblr || arizumu99 @ twitter


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